


Gracie

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-10-06
Updated: 2002-10-06
Packaged: 2017-11-01 11:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/356260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AmandaFM25 on TWoP said, "Lana's throwing a Halloween party at the Talon. Clark convinces Lex to dress in drag (and we all know how hot MR looks in drag :D) and see how many people they can fool. Pete ends up hitting on Lex."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gracie

## Gracie

by philtre

[]()

* * *

Title: Gracie 

Author: philtre 

Disclaimer: I own them only in my dreams, and even then, I don't believe me. 

Category: Humour, Established Relationship, PWP 

Rating: R (just to be on the safe side) 

Spoilers: Um, I couldn't even give you spoilers for _this_ fic. 

Players: Clex, Chloe, Pete, Jonathan 

Summary: AmandaFM25 on TWoP said, "Lana's throwing a Halloween party at the Talon. Clark convinces Lex to dress in drag (and we all know how hot MR looks in drag :D) and see how many people they can fool. Pete ends up hitting on Lex." 

Author's note: Can never resist a challenge. 

Thank you: Kathryn - for the quick beta, I can always count on you, hon. smooches. 

Archiving: Please let me know. 

Feedback: why, much obliged, thank you. 

* * *

"Come on, Lex. It'll be fun." 

Clark was pouting at him, and for the life of him, the boy was irresistible. 

"Remind me again why I even agreed to go in the first place." 

"You remember." 

Clark was blushing. Oh right. He distinctively remembered Clark's luscious lips wrapped around his ... 

"Anyway, you promised to show more support for Lana and the Talon. The Halloween party should help with what has been a slow month for them, you know that." 

"Awfully concerned about Ms Lang's enterprise, aren't you?" 

Clark leaned in and brushed his stubbled cheek against Lex's smooth face. "You know I don't want anyone else, Lex." You're pretty when you're mine. * 

"Fine, I'll go to the damn party, but there's no way in hell I'm going in drag." 

"Pleeassseee?" Clark held his grinning face inches from Lex's, tempting him with a promise of a kiss, but Lex had more restrain than that. 

"For the last time. No." Lex leaned forward to kiss that pouting lower lip, but all he got was thin air. 

He leaned back in his chair and glanced up at Clark towering over him, glowering. 

"That's not going to help, Clark." 

Clark fell between Lex's knees, elbows on Lex's knees propping up a sulking face. 

"Come on! We can see how many people guess that we're George Burns and Gracie Allen." One would think that Clark was a 5-year old excitedly talking about Disneyland, instead of 6 feet 4 inches of hard lean muscles that were just inches away from his ... 

"Please, Lex?" You're pretty when you beg. 

"Why are you so obsessed about dead TV stars?" 

"They're interesting, and they're not plastic the way most of today's stars are." Clark looked so sincere that Lex nearly gave into him, before Lex remembered what exactly he was giving into. 

"If you want this so badly, why don't you be Gracie Allen?" 

"Because I'm taller." Clark sounded as though he was stating the most obvious fact on the planet. 

Lex laughed despite himself. 

"I'll make it worth your while, Lex." 

"Really?" Now, this Lex was interested in. 

"Really." Clark slid one hand up the inside of Lex's thigh, stopping millimeters away from his ... "Well, Lex?" The question burning in Clark's eyes. 

"Alright, fine. But I get to choose the outfit." 

Clark's face lit up like the Christmas tree in front of the Rockefeller Center. 

"As for making it worth my while, I think you need a head start on that." Lex placed his hand on Clark's and moved it to ease a throbbing ache. 

* * *

"My God, Lex. You are a very pretty woman." 

Lex smiled at the beautiful boy sprawled carelessly on his king sized bed. 

"Thank you." He strode over to his dresser, subconsciously picking up his bottle of cologne. No, couldn't use that. 

"Uh, Lex?" 

"Yeah." Lex checked his makeup, seriously reconsidering the colour of his lipstick. 

"You look awfully comfortable walking in those 4 inch stilettos." 

"Um. Thanks." Lex brushed an extra coat of mascara on his lashes. 

"You've done this before haven't you?" All of the sudden, Clark was leaning against his dresser, studying him suspiciously. 

Lex sent him a furtive glance, and then relented. "Perhaps." 

"You'll have to tell me about it some time." Clark had a mischievous grin on his face. 

Lex backed Clark into the wall with a huge smile. "Not interested in finding out about it now?" 

"No, because one, we're late; and two, you're kinda scary as a woman." 

Lex laughed, and leaned forward to give Clark a quick kiss. It was strange to be tall enough to look Clark directly in the face. He was so used to having to look up at Clark, something he decided he wouldn't take for granted from then on. Lex quickly arranged the dark curls of the wig on his head. "What do you think of the dress?" 

Clark's eyes drifted down. "It's very ... um, flowery?" __

"Why, thank you." Lex fluttered his lashes at Clark. 

With a little giggle, Clark did his best George Burns impersonation, "You're very welcome." 

Lex bit back a groan. This was going to be a very long night. 

* * *

The party was boring. Clark had left him a while ago to mingle. No one had even ventured a guess at what either one of them was supposed to be, except for one guy who asked him if he was a housewife from the fifties, and if so, did he do windows. Ha ha. 

"Hello there." 

Lex turned to look down at Pete, dressed as a cowboy, whip and all. "Hello." 

"And how are you doing tonight?" 

"Good." He frowned. Since when did Pete care about how he was doing. Hadn't Clark mentioned that Pete intensely disliked him? "And yourself?" 

"I'm very good." 

For crying out loud, he could have sworn that Pete had just checked him out, and he was sounding ... licentious. 

"So tell me, where's a beautiful modelesque honey like yourself been hiding in Smallville all this while?" 

Lex choked on his chip. Pete was hitting on him. No, he was hitting on what he thought was an extremely tall woman. 

"Are you alright?" Pete was patting him on the back. 

"I'm fine." Lex strangled the words out and then quickly walked away, losing himself in the crowd. Then he caught sight of Clark talking to Chloe in the corner. 

Clark turned to smile at him brightly. Oh no, farmboy, no amount of beautiful smiling was going to get you out of the hole Pete just dug for you. He strode right up to Clark. 

"I need to talk to you for a moment," said Lex in a lowered voice. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Chloe studying him with narrowed eyes. 

She proffered a hand out to Lex. "Hi. Chloe Sullivan. I don't believe we've met." Leave it to Chloe to be direct. 

"Gracie." Lex returned in as feminine a voice as he could muster. 

"You look strangely familiar." 

Lex shrugged. Clark was grinning stupidly at the exchange. Chloe was studying him with her keen reporter's eye. Then suddenly they widened with recognition. 

"Oh my God." To her benefit, she tried to keep her voice down. "Lex??" 

Clark giggled like a schoolgirl, and Lex elbowed him. 

"I knew I'd seen those eyes somewhere before!" Chloe gave him the once over. "You make a very beautiful woman." 

"Thank you." Lex was starting to feel uncomfortable, and he never felt uncomfortable. "I just need to speak to Clark for a moment." 

"Oh, okay. Sorry." Chloe walked away, looking back twice to smile at Lex. 

"Outside. Now." 

Lex turned and found himself face to face with Clark's dad. "Mr. Kent. Hello." Damn reflex action. 

Jonathan's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Do I know ..." Then he stepped back in revelation, tilting his head ever so slightly. "Lex?" He sounded uncertain. 

"Yes, sir." Lex tried to remain composed. 

"I'm finally close to reconciling myself with the fact that you are dating my son, and then you throw me a loop by being .. a transvestite too?!" 

"Sir, I assure you. This is not a regular occurrence. I ..." Lex was babbling, when had he been reduced to this? 

"Dad. It was a gag. I dared Lex to do it. That's all." Clark Kent to the rescue again, and Lex was glad for it. 

Jonathan didn't look as though he quite believed it, but he let it go anyway. "I just wanted to let you know that your mom and I were leaving." 

"Okay. I think I'm going to stay over at Lex's, alright?" 

Lex could almost see Jonathan flinch slightly. It seemed like Clark and his dad had been through this a hundred times. Finally, Martha managed to convince Jonathan that he needed to respect his son's decision. "Yeah, that's fine. I'll see you tomorrow." Jonathan gave Lex a nod, but couldn't resist a quick shake of his head as he walked away. 

"I don't think that helped my relationship with your dad." 

"Don't worry about it. He'll get over it." Clark leaned closer to Lex. "You know, I could kiss you right now, and probably nobody would know any better." 

Lex pushed Clark away. "I'm not an easy kind of girl." 

"Could have fooled me." Clark was smiling at him again, nearly making him forget that he was angry at Clark. 

"I need some air." Lex quickly made a bee-line for the door. Then took a deep breath as they stepped into the night air. 

"What's wrong, Lex?" 

Lex walked Clark back against the wall. "Pete was hitting on me." 

"What?!" Clark looked positively livid. 

Lex couldn't resist a little laugh. "Relax. He thought I was a woman." 

Clark sighed in relief, and then took Lex's head between his hands. "Good. Because you are mine," he said possessively. 

Clark slanted his head and plunged his tongue deeply into Lex's mouth, marking him with ownership. You're pretty when you're mine. 

* * *

Pete, Chloe and Clark were walking down the hallway at school, talking about the Halloween party. 

"So who were you supposed to be Clark?" Chloe was frowning at him. 

"George Burns." 

Pete and Chloe laughed as though it was the most hilarious thing they'd ever heard. 

"Uh. Sorry to disappoint, but you're a little too tall to be George Burns." Chloe patted his arm consolingly. 

"Speaking of which, did you guys notice this extremely tall, extremely _hot_ mama last night?" asked Pete, characteristic gesturing included. 

Chloe choked on her coffee as she stifled a giggle. 

Clark shrugged ingenuously at Pete. "Nope." 

* * *

  * This is a reference to VAST's Pretty When You Cry, which incidentally is playing right now. [pimping]VAST is amazing.[/p] 
    * Just for reference's sake, this was the Allen/Burns picture in my mind when I wrote the fic. ([http://ca.briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/twopphiltre/vwp?.dir=/Michael+Rosenbaum&.dnm=GracieGeorge.jpg&.src=bc&.view=l&.done=http%3a//ca.briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/twopphiltre/lst%3f%26.dir=/Michael%2bRosenbaum%26.src=bc%26.view=l](http://ca.briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/twopphiltre/vwp?.dir=/Michael+Rosenbaum&.dnm=GracieGeorge.jpg&.src=bc&.view=l&.done=http%3a//ca.briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/twopphiltre/lst%3f%26.dir=/Michael%2bRosenbaum%26.src=bc%26.view=l)) 




End file.
